Every time.

No matter how time limited a session is.

Every time, it’s essential to talk about how we are going to have the conversation. Some facilitators call this the ground rules. I don’t. I don’t like rules, and someone else in the room is bound to find that confining too. But establishing the culture of how we are going to have the conversation is essential.

You’d think I’d know this. I say it. I do it – most of the time. Except occasionally the push and pull of competing priorities for a session get in the way of my better judgement.

Just this past month, I designed and led a session that was short on time because of the participant's availability. So, I decided not to spend much time on establishing the conversation culture.

And what do you think happened? Yes, exactly. We had participants who were confrontational, unable to listen and walked the line on rudeness. The roundabout, unproductive conversation took more time than talking about it at the beginning would have.

Now, I’m not saying that it would have been a 180 degree change in behaviour, but it sure would have helped. I still would have needed to interject strongly into the conversation and turn it around, as I did in this situation, but having the buy-in at the beginning would have encouraged productive communication styles to stick better.

I’ll take the lesson.

Each day we make choices and even with my decades of experience in facilitation and conflict management, I need to remind myself to listen to my intuition and always make space for the fundamentals.

In sharing this, I hope to spark a dialogue on the importance of establishing a conversation culture in every setting—a principle that stands as the bedrock of effective facilitation and conflict management. Let's not underestimate the power of setting the stage for open, respectful, and productive conversations. After all, in the fields of sustainability and climate, how we talk about change is just as crucial as the changes we seek to make.

How often do you talk about conversation culture in meetings? Is it explicit / assumed / forgotten?